decide a decision

Saturdate with the doctor, again. It was quite different this time because I got my friend accompanied me because my husband had to do stock-opname in his office.  I arrived at the hospital around 9, and my booking number was 36.  I asked the nurse to check how many number was called in, and it was only 5 numbers. So I decided to look for some food nearby because it'd took hours for my turn. 
just buying some time..
tik.. tok..tik..tok.. 
5 hours waiting, finally my name was called out. I was directed to go in and sit.  As always, the doctor smiled and asked my condition. He got confused at first and tried to reckon our last appointment's memories.  he took a look on his last notes, and asked me why he didnt make any notes for dr. Bambang's result. I didnt know what I was supposed to answer for being asked like that. I said nothing, just smirked.  Then, he chose to rewrite dr. Bambang's result on the book while murmuring something I didnt understand.  To break that awkward moment…

Unexpected Recommendation!

Hi. its me again!
continuing my last appointment with the legendary doctor. here we go again. 
Nov 2nd, I met dr. Bambang as he is pointed out by Prof. Wahyu to give second opinion about my PCO and Cyst. As I arrived at Klinik Moegni, the receiptionist said that the doctor would come at 4 pm. So i decided to wait for him, but not that I expected that he just showed up 2,5 hours later. Fineeeee. Finally my name was called, so I was directed to come into the doctor's room. He commonly asked how many years our marriage is. It's been 4 years, and still counting~ i said. Afterthat, he ordered me to lay in bed and started the transvaginal usg-analyzing. He firstly check my left-ovarium which was indicated of PCO, and he said that there was no sign of PCO. It's clean he said. And turn to my Right one, then he saw cyst, 1.8 cm-sized as he explained. He told us that it's nothing to worry about yet he added to try the program if we want to get expecting soon.  IVF, he mentioned.

In the …

cerita sahabat

pernah ga sih kalian ada di posisi dimana lo gatau harus berekspresi kaya gimana saat lo denger cerita sahabat lo? simpelnya, lo bingung harus seneng apa sedih denger cerita mereka.
Jadi gw punya sahabat, dan kita udah sahabatan cukup lama. satu SMA, satu Universitas, satu jurusan. udah cukup lama, and still counting till now.  dari jaman dulu sampe sekarang, setiap cerita yg kita alamin, pasti kita bagi.  dari jaman punya gebetan, patah hati karna gebetan kita demennya ma yang laen, pacaran, putus, berantem karna ga dikabarin, atau ga dianterin,  bahkan telat dijemput, ngomongin orang,  ngomenin orang, ghibah, hal-hal remeh semuanya kita bagi bareng. 
until one day. masing-masing dari kami mulai mutusin jalan hidup masing-masing dengan pilihan masing-masing juga. (yamasa iya barengan hehe..) iya, satu persatu dari kami mulai berkeluarga.  nothing's changed..  tetep kaya semula,  jaman kawula muda, semua cerita kami bagi.  bedanya.. sekarang udah bukan jamannya cerita berantem karna ga dijemput, atau karna …

dream within a dream

apa itu mimpi?
awam sekali.
iya, mimpi.

jauh sebelum ku mengenalmu.
mimpi bagiku adalah hal yang menyenangkan.
ku bisa membayangkan diriku ada di suatu tempat dan waktu yang aku idamkan.
jauh sekali.
juga tinggi.

kini, saat ada kamu.
mimpi bagiku semu.
tidak semenyenangkan dulu.
rasanya kelu.
dulu berwarna namun sekarang abu.

ku ingat-ingat.
dulu sekali.
ku pernah sekali waktu bermimpi,
jadi pemain bulu tangkis,
lalu perenang,
lalu model,
lalu penyanyi,
lalu akuntan,
lalu sastrawati,

saat ini,
ku ingin jadi seorang istri,
cukup dicintai,
cukup dihargai,
cukup dimengerti,
cukup dibiarkan mandiri,
bahagiaku dicukupi.

cukup disitu ku minta.
ku tak akan bermimpi lagi.


What is PCO? 
PCO or PCOs (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) is a condition where woman's hormones are out of balance. Normally, the ovaries make a tiny amount of Androgen (male hormone) but in PCOs they make slightly more. This condition cause the ovaries stop ovulating. That is why women with PCOs (me) have trouble in getting pregnant.
Three main features of symptom in PCOS are: ­čö╣cysts in the ovaries (which to me cysts are indicated in my right-sided ovary) ­čö╣high levels of male hormones ­čö╣irregular and skipped periods
In PCO, many small, fluid-filled sacs grow inside the ovaries. The word "polycystics" means "many cysts." These sacs are actually follicles, each one containing an immature egg. The eggs never mature enough to trigger ovulation.

How to treat PCO? 
Besides medical treatment, which common use of Metformin (Glucophage, Fortamet), a drug to treat type 2 diabetes which also treat PCOS by improving insulin levels. Regular exercise, healthy foods, and weight contro…

The Expecting Journey

Long story short,  we were in the 8th month of marriage when we firstly decided to see a doctor to start the program.  But the doctor said that we were too young and too early to start it.  "Go get another honeymoon!," she said.  Then, she just prescribed us some vitamins.  Dissapointed of what we expect earlier, we made an appointment with a different doctor in the same hospital in the 1st anniv of our marriage.  The doctor gave us positive response of our plan to start the program.  My ovaries were checked.  Everything was okay.  Same with the first doctor, she prescribed us some vitamins and briefed us about the sex cycle we need to concern. Again, we found ourselves dissapointed because the result did not meet our expectation. Started over the program within another year, moved to Bandung. We met an unusual doctor.  Why is it unusual?  Because he did not prescribed us any vitamins or medicine like others do.  He just preached us that child come within the right time. This doctor was th…

stranger by the day

when tomorrow wont be the most awaited time as it was.

when morning wont be bright and warm as it was.

when smile fades out.

when silly things become weird.

when coffee tasteless.

no more giggling.

no more laughing-out-loud.

no more.




there will be times when we're becoming stranger to each other.